Don’t you cry no
more……..
My life is running on a different
platform, isolated from all the rest of the people loaded with its own worries,
some happy moments and a cluster of unsaid emotions. Opportunities come with a
price…… and that price may be in any form, not always necessarily be sacrifice!
It’s not unusual that I have thousands of complaints in my mind regarding my
life, but what else can I do…. It is the only option that I have. However I
have one more complaint with my life now…….. It is a new addition to the entire
not so important list of complaints.
May be it is just me but I do not
know many things; things that are important, things that may even sound silly
to others, things that might mean something else to others……… and I have no idea how to understand several
things in my life. How much one may pretend but it is the fact that one cannot
keep on running from something for ever. Honestly, I really have no clue of why
am I writing but I am writing because there is a storm inside of me right now
which I want to let out somehow and writing is the best way to do it. I do not
want to raise a million questions in people’s hearts and minds and I am not
even planning to answer any of them but I am sure after anybody reads it there
will be several doubts.
Not to worry…… may be I am
fine….. Sometimes I over react, and it is one those time! There is something on
my mind right now that makes me want to cry, cry bitterly…….. And I will.
Something is pinching my heart like a needle that hurts so badly. I know it is
not such a big issue but it is Hell of a Deal for me!! I know, I never talk
clearly, I create doubts in people’s minds by my words but I love doing it.
God loves playing games with me
and my feelings and it is his favorite game and I do not blame him. After all,
we all are the puppets in his world and puppets are meant to be ruled and
controlled. Sometimes I forget that my life is not solely mine, it is his
creation, and he can give it any path he wants me to chase and any hurdle he
wants me to tackle! I am not brave enough, I am still learning the tactics, and
the ways that help me get through some situations. Somebody else’s faith boosts
me up and it makes me wonder that I am really good for nothing. I definitely
can’t be any body’s support and shadow……… when I have no clue of what is going
on in their lives. I may not ask every time but that does not mean that I do
not want to know.
Okay before I blab, I think it is
the high time that I stop this very moment……… I know, I wrote too long and
might even be confusing and beyond any understanding………… I am ……….. I won’t say
no more.
My heart aches……. My eyes
are wet!!!
God, I know we do not have that kind of thing but you do
make some of my wishes come true……. I really wish that things get alright soon………….
A very wise lady reminded me today “ Life is not a bed of Roses. “, she is
right. Thorns are the part of our lives but there are roses too right?…… And I
wish that the smell of those roses spread into their lives for long. I am not
very self less but please make this wish come true and I have my fingers
crossed hoping for something better to happen……..
May be it is all crap but I just spoke half of my mind, rest
there is still some conflicts.
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