DILEMMA...........

Don’t you cry no more……..

My life is running on a different platform, isolated from all the rest of the people loaded with its own worries, some happy moments and a cluster of unsaid emotions. Opportunities come with a price…… and that price may be in any form, not always necessarily be sacrifice! It’s not unusual that I have thousands of complaints in my mind regarding my life, but what else can I do…. It is the only option that I have. However I have one more complaint with my life now…….. It is a new addition to the entire not so important list of complaints.

May be it is just me but I do not know many things; things that are important, things that may even sound silly to others, things that might mean something else to others………  and I have no idea how to understand several things in my life. How much one may pretend but it is the fact that one cannot keep on running from something for ever. Honestly, I really have no clue of why am I writing but I am writing because there is a storm inside of me right now which I want to let out somehow and writing is the best way to do it. I do not want to raise a million questions in people’s hearts and minds and I am not even planning to answer any of them but I am sure after anybody reads it there will be several doubts.

Not to worry…… may be I am fine….. Sometimes I over react, and it is one those time! There is something on my mind right now that makes me want to cry, cry bitterly…….. And I will. Something is pinching my heart like a needle that hurts so badly. I know it is not such a big issue but it is Hell of a Deal for me!! I know, I never talk clearly, I create doubts in people’s minds by my words but I love doing it.

God loves playing games with me and my feelings and it is his favorite game and I do not blame him. After all, we all are the puppets in his world and puppets are meant to be ruled and controlled. Sometimes I forget that my life is not solely mine, it is his creation, and he can give it any path he wants me to chase and any hurdle he wants me to tackle! I am not brave enough, I am still learning the tactics, and the ways that help me get through some situations. Somebody else’s faith boosts me up and it makes me wonder that I am really good for nothing. I definitely can’t be any body’s support and shadow……… when I have no clue of what is going on in their lives. I may not ask every time but that does not mean that I do not want to know.

Okay before I blab, I think it is the high time that I stop this very moment……… I know, I wrote too long and might even be confusing and beyond any understanding………… I am ……….. I won’t say no more.

My heart aches……. My eyes are wet!!!

God, I know we do not have that kind of thing but you do make some of my wishes come true……. I really wish that things get alright soon…………. A very wise lady reminded me today “ Life is not a bed of Roses. “, she is right. Thorns are the part of our lives but there are roses too right?…… And I wish that the smell of those roses spread into their lives for long. I am not very self less but please make this wish come true and I have my fingers crossed hoping for something better to happen……..

May be it is all crap but I just spoke half of my mind, rest there is still some conflicts.