Nothing could make me forget you

“I don’t like her” She said eyeing a girl who just passed by. Her companion turned her head in her direction and heard Evellyn say again, “No, I don’t like her at all” Angelica laughed softly on hearing this and voiced her thoughts that had been going on in mind from some time, “What’s really wrong with her?” Evellyn who was still staring at the girl with amusing reactions, spoke without taking her eyes off her, “I just can’t like her.” “I know why”, said Angelica. Evellyn finally looked at her and made a face. They walked in the hallway, “You don’t miss him?” Evellyn finally asked not able to hold her anxiety anymore. “You know I do.” They looked at the sight together and sighed. “Let’s go. Come on.” Angelica pulled her forward in another direction.

“Ma’am you can’t have it, it’s already taken”, said the book seller, the other day. “No other copy?” “I’m afraid it’s the last one.” As she was about to make the exit, she heard a familiar voice. “Thanks for keeping it saved.” She got out quickly fighting an impulse to look back. “I thought you had gone to get that book, you wanted it so bad”, said Angelica as she saw Eve return empty handed. “Bad luck. Last copy, and he took it” “Oh!” was all she could manage to say.

“May be we should do something with the lights or lanterns” Evellyn and Angelica heard Margaret say. “I like the idea of lanterns.” He said. “Of course you do.” Evellyn and Angelica murmured. He went on and on about the things he had planned for an event. Evellyn listened patiently, recollecting old days at the same time. Emotions filled her eyes. “See you later, then” He waved a goodbye and walked on. “It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not. I can’t take it anymore. It’s been two months. Two months, Angie. He doesn’t remember us, he doesn’t remember anything. Do you know how does it feel when I look at him and he doesn’t give the look right back? How much it kills to see him holding her hand instead. He does all those things that I thought he’d do for me. But no! Angie, he’s…gone. He’s not mine anymore.”Evellyn choked on her last words. ”Shush.” They stood hugging each other.

“Hey, can I sit here? There’s no other place”, asked Margaret as she stood at the table where sat Evellyn writing in her diary. She looked up, composed herself and gestured Margaret to make herself comfortable. The thought of being at the same table was revolting. Evellyn chose to be herself and continue writing. “You write?” she asked trying to make small talks. “Just my thoughts.” She smiled a little smile. “And these thoughts include him?” She sat silently, looking at her face. “Sometimes.” She whispered. “Does it hurt?” Evellyn felt a jabbing pain at these words, her eyes answered the question, and she looked away. Evellyn rose from her seat, grabbed her diary and started to walk away. “I’m sorry” she heard her say. “Me too. Take good care.” And she strolled away, without knowing where she was going.

“Don’t go please” Angelica tried to convince her one last time. “You know why I can’t stay.” They fell silent again. “I’ll come back soon, to you.” That made Angelica cry. They sat hugging for several minutes. “Take good care.” Angelica said when they stood at the platform to say goodbye. Evellyn smiled and hugged her friend goodbye.  

Her new house felt lifeless, just like herself. She turned on the lights, put her purse by the diary on the table. She stood silently staring into the emptiness. Nothing came back to her. She sank onto the floor bursting into tears. Bitter memories flashed before her eyes. Wondering how careless she had been, cursing herself, she thought if she had not vent out her anger that last time, he could have been here, and not met with an accident. They could have been together. She cried harder.

It was an hour to New Year’s eve. She was still sitting by the chair, curled into a ball. Her cell phone rang, pulling her from darkness to light. She wiped her face, and faked a smile, thinking it to be Angie on the other side. “Hey, I’m so sorry I didn’t call. I got busy in…” but she fell silent as she heard him say, “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” Silence prolonged the moment. None of them moved. “This is what you had said, the last time.”

She opened her mouth and then shut it again. She thought she was imagining things. She sat motionless, then she heard him say, “Open the door.” She was befuddled, she mused to herself that she was being absurd. “Open the door, Eve.” He repeated. She stood up, having clung to the phone near her ear, she walked to the door, as if following the command and opened the door. There he stood, with his phone by his ear. They stood looking at each other. None of them said anything. She sighed into her phone and she saw him taking it in with his eyes closed. “You…” she began, but felt the words getting lost. “Me…” He whispered. Their eyes glued to each other’s. Phones still by their ears.

“How…”

“Why not?”

“But…you…”

“And you…”

Tears rolled down his cheeks first, seeing this she dropped her phone, and ran to hold them in. “No!” She said anxiously.

“Why not?” He whispered standing motionless.

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” He quoted her again. And tears rolled down her cheeks. “It was our first fight.”

“And last.” He added.

She searched his eyes, and felt herself getting lost. His gaze never left her face. He finally moved to draw out a book from his bag. “Something you wanted?” And her eyes smiled. He leaned in to embrace her and whispered in her ears, “Happy Birthday.” She felt a rush of feelings inside her.  “Dyllan…”

“I never did and I never could forget you. I don’t know about you, but you are mine. All mine.”

“All this time?”

“Always.”

And they smiled through their tears. These last few minutes made their last few months fade away. All the pain conquered by their love and happiness. After hours of answering each other’s questions, he asked one last. “A train back tomorrow or you’d like to stay?”

“I’ll stay where you’ll stay.”

“Hmm”, he leaned in to smell her hair, ”I’ll take you with me then, where our hearts truly lie.”

She smiled on his lips.

No Mourners, No Funerals!

 

Parting is hard, especially if it’s your favourite character. I hadn’t thought I’d be this much rattled by ending of a book, this particular book, but I guess I was in for a surprise.

Couple of weeks ago when I had binge watched the series; only I hadn’t realised it then that I’d end up buying all the books, the series was based on. I guess I should have known. The original books were divided into multiple novels, I focused on the main ones first. I wanted to know the characters and their stories. Well, now I know a lot more.

That’s the beauty of the books. I had never known I was a book lover, not until I bought my very own first set of Novels. The book was Twilight, which later turned out to be my favourite. In fact, the whole package is a Master Piece.

You what is that one thing I love about my favourite characters? The way they play with their eyes and their smiles, that’s what makes the character. Dialogues are a bonus.

At first, when I had watched the series and seen these Memes on the social sites, I couldn’t connect to why people had loved so much this one character, well two actually. That’s when I began my journey with the book “Six of Crows” and my, did it sweep me off my feet! I instantly feel in love with the characters, their stories, their dialogues, their dressing, their eyes and their smiles.  This one character stood out from the rest. “Kaz Brekker”, the bastard of the berrels. Such a badass character, one who is not easily scared by anything, one who sees everything and one who would rather swallow his feelings than pride. What intrigued me the most was that he was calculative, he thought of his actions and their reactions well before hand, how could someone be so smart? And the actor who had portrayed this character in the series had done it justice and thankfully, I only had to imagine him saying all those dialogues, only imagine his brows, his smile (which he hardly did) and his voice. What pulled me to this character the most was the thoughts he had for this one girl “Inej”. Such a beautiful name! And my, oh my! She was also a badass. The Wraith, as he’d named her. She sure was dangerous and yet so kind and full of mercy. These two had this chemistry that just made me fall in love with them, more for Kaz, of course. I have my reasons. One being a thought he had in the book when he had couldn’t muster his courage to go and ask her how she was feeling. “I need to show you something”, a dialogue he’d said twice only to Inej because he trusted her with his life. It had taken him two days to find an excuse to talk to her. It was her nudge and her voice that had brought him back while he had fainted and all he had asked her was to keep talking. I don’t know what it is with me, but it only takes a simple thought a simple dialogue to make me love a character. I guess that’s because of me being a hopeless romantic.  A hopeless romance between a heartless Crow and a Suli girl. I was so excited when he’d said “Stay”. “Stay with me, I want you”, he’d almost pleaded without adding more to it.

I can’t imagine what he’d do for his girl now that she was taken away in front his eyes. Waiting to see how he’d make the tables turn and make the people pay for this crime. How he’ going to change the game. Oh I can’t wait to dive into the sequel “Crooked Kingdom”

Until then "No Mourners, No Funerals"