Nothing could make me forget you

“I don’t like her” She said eyeing a girl who just passed by. Her companion turned her head in her direction and heard Evellyn say again, “No, I don’t like her at all” Angelica laughed softly on hearing this and voiced her thoughts that had been going on in mind from some time, “What’s really wrong with her?” Evellyn who was still staring at the girl with amusing reactions, spoke without taking her eyes off her, “I just can’t like her.” “I know why”, said Angelica. Evellyn finally looked at her and made a face. They walked in the hallway, “You don’t miss him?” Evellyn finally asked not able to hold her anxiety anymore. “You know I do.” They looked at the sight together and sighed. “Let’s go. Come on.” Angelica pulled her forward in another direction.

“Ma’am you can’t have it, it’s already taken”, said the book seller, the other day. “No other copy?” “I’m afraid it’s the last one.” As she was about to make the exit, she heard a familiar voice. “Thanks for keeping it saved.” She got out quickly fighting an impulse to look back. “I thought you had gone to get that book, you wanted it so bad”, said Angelica as she saw Eve return empty handed. “Bad luck. Last copy, and he took it” “Oh!” was all she could manage to say.

“May be we should do something with the lights or lanterns” Evellyn and Angelica heard Margaret say. “I like the idea of lanterns.” He said. “Of course you do.” Evellyn and Angelica murmured. He went on and on about the things he had planned for an event. Evellyn listened patiently, recollecting old days at the same time. Emotions filled her eyes. “See you later, then” He waved a goodbye and walked on. “It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not. I can’t take it anymore. It’s been two months. Two months, Angie. He doesn’t remember us, he doesn’t remember anything. Do you know how does it feel when I look at him and he doesn’t give the look right back? How much it kills to see him holding her hand instead. He does all those things that I thought he’d do for me. But no! Angie, he’s…gone. He’s not mine anymore.”Evellyn choked on her last words. ”Shush.” They stood hugging each other.

“Hey, can I sit here? There’s no other place”, asked Margaret as she stood at the table where sat Evellyn writing in her diary. She looked up, composed herself and gestured Margaret to make herself comfortable. The thought of being at the same table was revolting. Evellyn chose to be herself and continue writing. “You write?” she asked trying to make small talks. “Just my thoughts.” She smiled a little smile. “And these thoughts include him?” She sat silently, looking at her face. “Sometimes.” She whispered. “Does it hurt?” Evellyn felt a jabbing pain at these words, her eyes answered the question, and she looked away. Evellyn rose from her seat, grabbed her diary and started to walk away. “I’m sorry” she heard her say. “Me too. Take good care.” And she strolled away, without knowing where she was going.

“Don’t go please” Angelica tried to convince her one last time. “You know why I can’t stay.” They fell silent again. “I’ll come back soon, to you.” That made Angelica cry. They sat hugging for several minutes. “Take good care.” Angelica said when they stood at the platform to say goodbye. Evellyn smiled and hugged her friend goodbye.  

Her new house felt lifeless, just like herself. She turned on the lights, put her purse by the diary on the table. She stood silently staring into the emptiness. Nothing came back to her. She sank onto the floor bursting into tears. Bitter memories flashed before her eyes. Wondering how careless she had been, cursing herself, she thought if she had not vent out her anger that last time, he could have been here, and not met with an accident. They could have been together. She cried harder.

It was an hour to New Year’s eve. She was still sitting by the chair, curled into a ball. Her cell phone rang, pulling her from darkness to light. She wiped her face, and faked a smile, thinking it to be Angie on the other side. “Hey, I’m so sorry I didn’t call. I got busy in…” but she fell silent as she heard him say, “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” Silence prolonged the moment. None of them moved. “This is what you had said, the last time.”

She opened her mouth and then shut it again. She thought she was imagining things. She sat motionless, then she heard him say, “Open the door.” She was befuddled, she mused to herself that she was being absurd. “Open the door, Eve.” He repeated. She stood up, having clung to the phone near her ear, she walked to the door, as if following the command and opened the door. There he stood, with his phone by his ear. They stood looking at each other. None of them said anything. She sighed into her phone and she saw him taking it in with his eyes closed. “You…” she began, but felt the words getting lost. “Me…” He whispered. Their eyes glued to each other’s. Phones still by their ears.

“How…”

“Why not?”

“But…you…”

“And you…”

Tears rolled down his cheeks first, seeing this she dropped her phone, and ran to hold them in. “No!” She said anxiously.

“Why not?” He whispered standing motionless.

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” He quoted her again. And tears rolled down her cheeks. “It was our first fight.”

“And last.” He added.

She searched his eyes, and felt herself getting lost. His gaze never left her face. He finally moved to draw out a book from his bag. “Something you wanted?” And her eyes smiled. He leaned in to embrace her and whispered in her ears, “Happy Birthday.” She felt a rush of feelings inside her.  “Dyllan…”

“I never did and I never could forget you. I don’t know about you, but you are mine. All mine.”

“All this time?”

“Always.”

And they smiled through their tears. These last few minutes made their last few months fade away. All the pain conquered by their love and happiness. After hours of answering each other’s questions, he asked one last. “A train back tomorrow or you’d like to stay?”

“I’ll stay where you’ll stay.”

“Hmm”, he leaned in to smell her hair, ”I’ll take you with me then, where our hearts truly lie.”

She smiled on his lips.

No Mourners, No Funerals!

 

Parting is hard, especially if it’s your favourite character. I hadn’t thought I’d be this much rattled by ending of a book, this particular book, but I guess I was in for a surprise.

Couple of weeks ago when I had binge watched the series; only I hadn’t realised it then that I’d end up buying all the books, the series was based on. I guess I should have known. The original books were divided into multiple novels, I focused on the main ones first. I wanted to know the characters and their stories. Well, now I know a lot more.

That’s the beauty of the books. I had never known I was a book lover, not until I bought my very own first set of Novels. The book was Twilight, which later turned out to be my favourite. In fact, the whole package is a Master Piece.

You what is that one thing I love about my favourite characters? The way they play with their eyes and their smiles, that’s what makes the character. Dialogues are a bonus.

At first, when I had watched the series and seen these Memes on the social sites, I couldn’t connect to why people had loved so much this one character, well two actually. That’s when I began my journey with the book “Six of Crows” and my, did it sweep me off my feet! I instantly feel in love with the characters, their stories, their dialogues, their dressing, their eyes and their smiles.  This one character stood out from the rest. “Kaz Brekker”, the bastard of the berrels. Such a badass character, one who is not easily scared by anything, one who sees everything and one who would rather swallow his feelings than pride. What intrigued me the most was that he was calculative, he thought of his actions and their reactions well before hand, how could someone be so smart? And the actor who had portrayed this character in the series had done it justice and thankfully, I only had to imagine him saying all those dialogues, only imagine his brows, his smile (which he hardly did) and his voice. What pulled me to this character the most was the thoughts he had for this one girl “Inej”. Such a beautiful name! And my, oh my! She was also a badass. The Wraith, as he’d named her. She sure was dangerous and yet so kind and full of mercy. These two had this chemistry that just made me fall in love with them, more for Kaz, of course. I have my reasons. One being a thought he had in the book when he had couldn’t muster his courage to go and ask her how she was feeling. “I need to show you something”, a dialogue he’d said twice only to Inej because he trusted her with his life. It had taken him two days to find an excuse to talk to her. It was her nudge and her voice that had brought him back while he had fainted and all he had asked her was to keep talking. I don’t know what it is with me, but it only takes a simple thought a simple dialogue to make me love a character. I guess that’s because of me being a hopeless romantic.  A hopeless romance between a heartless Crow and a Suli girl. I was so excited when he’d said “Stay”. “Stay with me, I want you”, he’d almost pleaded without adding more to it.

I can’t imagine what he’d do for his girl now that she was taken away in front his eyes. Waiting to see how he’d make the tables turn and make the people pay for this crime. How he’ going to change the game. Oh I can’t wait to dive into the sequel “Crooked Kingdom”

Until then "No Mourners, No Funerals"

Mysterious darkness

This school trip would be different, her best friend had promised and she had hoped. The first day of the trip began with high spirits and ended with tiredness of the journey. It was a clear blue sky the next morning and with adventure on their minds, the activities commenced. Laughter and cheers filled the place. Innocent as she looked, and shy on the inside, she sat there by the bonfire writing about her day. A perfect night for star gazing. She and her best friend lay in their sleeping bags talking for hours when her friend fell asleep. Deprived of sleep, she crawled out of her tent and started wandering around. Ignorant of everyone, she kept moving on into the woods as if she knew where she was going. After what felt like a long time, she found a small river, silent as dead, she could see the stars in it. She decided to sit there and feel the piece. Soon darkness sunk in, and she found herself draped in sleep. She was jerked awake by someone but when she opened her eyes she could not see anything or anyone for that matter. She had lost track of time, and her way back. Now she was starting to panic. She looked around and found herself stranded in the middle of nowhere. It was dark, when she turned around she was directly seeing into someone’s eyes. Afraid and anxiously, she pulled her steps back when she felt something crawling on her foot. She jerked her foot with fright, her movement was so sudden that she lost her balance. However, she was caught by the mysterious guy. They were still in that posture when she finally saw his face and she forgot about everything once again. He asked her how she got there once he made her sit by his side safely. They had never met before and yet she felt like she had known him from long. They talked for what seemed like hours. And she was left mesmerized by the sunrise and it felt peaceful to be there, sitting and relaxing. She found herself looking in his eyes again, wondering how infectious they could be. The second their eyes met, she looked away shyly, she closed her eyes smiling to herself and felt the cool breeze on her face. When she opened her eyes, she found herself in her sleeping bag, by the side of her best-friend, and the mysterious guy was no where around. How could this happen? She didn’t remember coming back. How foolish she had been not to remember the way back to that place or his name. Had that been a dream, she thought to herself, but it had felt so real. She had met him and witnessed that sunrise. This trip was different, as her friend had promised and as she had hoped.

His warmth, her smile!

She breathed out a sigh after having failed to select out one outfit that she could wear for the day. Another failed attempt just like the previous ones. She was to spend an entire day with the person she loved. When she couldn't find anything that could bring a satisfactory smile on her face, she turned around with a few clothes in her hands to ask him for his preference when she saw him smiling seeing her like that. "What shall I wear!?" She asked in an agitated voice showing him her selections. "You do know that I like you in anything you wear, just wear a smile along with any of those." Having said that he smiled at her when she turned around again, "You never help me out." And she looked at the pile of clothes in her closet. Suddenly she felt his hands moving on her back, making their way to her navel, making her heart skip beats. The clothes from her hand fell on the floor as his fingers slowly reached to her hands. Without turning her around, slowly he took off the tshirt that she was wearing. Her heart fluttered like a bird, not wanting to stay put. He pulled her close when he slid her hands into one of his shirts, buttoning her up to the top, leaning in to hear her heat and feel her deep breathing. When he spun her around, he looked at her face with a smile that filled his heart with happiness to the brim. "You look perfect." He whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek, making her to open her eyes and go red in the face. She smiled a broad smile seeing his happy face. She breathed his warmth when she hugged him tight kissing him on his shoulder, making him squeeze her a bit more tight. "I thought we were going out" she said in a low voice, her face still hidden in his chest. " I just wanna stay like this today, being us" and they smiled again

Faceless man

"I love the sky, it looks so beautiful. And these stars, they are the miracle". She said talking to herself one evening when she was distracted by another voice, "I like it this way too." His voice sounded peaceful and magical. That's how her magical fantasy began. They walked together chattering about what felt right. For what seemed after a long time, she was smiling. She was happy and it was evident from her eyes. Her sleepless nights turned into magical ones. Once again, she was dreaming of the man she loved, sleeping wrapped securely in his arms. He was no superhero, but his arms were her safest place. Every morning he would kiss her forehead, making her smile. He would make her days and when she couldn't stand tall he would hold her and make her strong. His laughter was her favorite echo and his smile was her strongest element. Their conversations grew deeper, and the emotion of love took more leaps. Evenings after evenings they spent, all those afternoon meals that they cooked together, his presence that boosted her more made her fantasies go more wider. Then something changed, all that she felt started to fade. She wanted things for real. After all, love was all she ever desired. Dreams began to lessen and her life started the real adventure. Times came when there was no echo or humor. No hand that could hold her still. An afternoon, she cried, she yearned for his comfort when she finally realized that he had gone forever. Solitude never left her side, but she was a learner. She learned to never abandon herself. She lived in happy smiles. Recalling her happy times, she gave distress a harder time. Her own smile made her smile and her words gave her courage. Her hope made her optimistic, she knows not to lose faith. She's a believer as she believes she will someday see her faceless man again. And she knows that they will love the same.

Oh Darling, just smile and that'd be all!

He gets irritated when she does something he had been wanting to do for her. Why shouldn’t he be so, he loves her just so much that he wanted to do it himself, he wanted to see that smile come on her lips seeing his gestures. He gets mad when she later laughs on the same, she laughs because she loves making him agitated. She loves him equally. She thinks her guy is the best in her world, the other world doesn’t concern her. She’s a free soul. There isn’t anything from anyone that she wants, just smiles. Smiles are all she ever craves for, and his smile always makes wonders for her. She felt him getting annoyed on the phone, when she realized she had again done something that he had planned for her. She grinned wondering how observant her guy has been. She loves him deeply and adores him in that moment. But he gets sad. Though feeling a little sad herself, she smiled again absentmindedly, probably feeling loved by him, he loves her just so much. All this love, all that care, all this happiness, all that attention is what she had ever wanted, not pretty things but his charming smile.

He’s still mad, and yet so much of their love. Because love is everything but cruel.

They watched it begin again

A fight has broken out, something she heard while passing the hallway. Nothing to be worried about she thought. She was joyful today for some unknown reason. A little excited and full of ideas. Thoughts were crawling inside her mind, she wanted to do something she had been missing from a long time now. From a few feet away, she heard someone shouting at his peak. Hearing the voice, she started to pace to the place where the word war had broken out. She saw everyone around, saw how people just stood there watching the whole scene and doing nothing to stop the two guys in a row. She could not just let this go on anymore, so she walked to the middle silently, it took a few moments for everyone for the scene to sink in. The audience stayed yet silent, however, one of the guys standing in front of her started to yell again, which aggravated the other guy a bit more. Seeing him getting into the fight again, she asked him to remain calm and not to shout. She knew nothing of the matter, so she pleaded to both to take the issue somewhere private and sought it out politely. When they still didn’t listen, she placed her hand on one of the guys to which she could sense his heartbeats. She felt how his heart skipped a beat on her touch. Their eyes met for a split second and he fell silent. Thinking it to be her chance, she took him by the hand and pulled him out of the crowd. Still holding her hand, he walked a little behind. They went to a room where there was no one around, she made him sit, and sat across him silently, waiting for him to settle. She waited patiently, and he sat there calming his heart, taking in how she had placed her hand on his heart, how suddenly he had felt the emotion for a second, how easily their hands mingled when they were moving away from the crowd. His eyes were knitted together, his heart was racing fast, his mind had started to cook a million stories. “So?”, She finally said as she thought he may not speak for some more time. He looked at her, he saw how curious she was to know the reason and yet he was confused as to why she wasn’t going crazy over the fight. She would have taken this situation to another level if they had been back in time. And there she sat today, looking pretty and always ready to blow his mind with her unpredicted reactions. “I’ll figure it out…” That was all he opted to say at that moment as his brain was busy in other world, playing the scene of them holding hands on repeat. She eyed him for some time and then said, “You’re not usually this angry” The innocence in her voice made him reply instantly, “He had said something that I couldn’t…” Her joy had empowered all her other emotions today, she was happy. “It’s okay Dyllan… just relax, let’s go.”

“Can’t we stay a bit?” He asked with a little hope. He had heard his name after a long time. It sounded right and peaceful. Hearing him say this she smiled. They went to the nearest park and strolled for sometime. Some jokes filling in the silence and their voices filling in their hearts. Words turned into stories which never seemed to end. Remembering the old times, sitting on the couch cross legged to each other, eating from each other’s supper, laughing at their crazy moments, his place seemed alive today, living its own happiness. They spent the whole night talking. None of them realized when they dozed off. It felt relaxing being with each other, hearing to the same laughter, that soothing voice that made them forget all the pain. His place felt like home today, he felt for the first time in a long time that he was home. Her head on his shoulder assured him that love never dies, some things just don’t change with time. Their hands found their way to each other, the never vanishing smiles gave them an ache to their faces. This felt peaceful. Waking up in each other’s arms in the following morning made them smile and cry a happy cry. In each other’s smiles they saw how much happy they were, in their tears they felt how much they had missed each other, in that moment they watched it begin again…